Metal Problems
by alexandergideon
Summary: In character/context. One shot. Pairing: Eren x Levi / Ereri. The Corporal has been having bother with his 3DMG for a while and, one day, the thigh belts force him into a position of no escape. Levi calls for the help of Eren, which results in innuendo filled thoughts, a comical mishap and some good ol' fluff.


_So anime has actually kinda taken over my life and even more viciously so than anything else has, if I'm being quite honest. SNK is pretty much my favourite anime and thing right now (along with Free! because MakoHaru yey~~) AND I JUST REALLY LOVE ERERI OKAY EREN AND LEVI ARE MY OTP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND_

_Dedicated to one of my best friends Aysha, who shares a wonderful anime blog with me and sails this ship all over twitter, thank you for your patience and dedication, you're the best, ily!_

_This is a long, humour filled (I hope!) one shot with cute moments, honest. Nothing too steamy in this one but hopefully it'll make you smile. Feedback is most welcome! Enjoy~!_

Metal Problems

There was a special place in hell for a lot of things. The people that hurt and killed the innocent, those who left their equipment blood crusted and muddy on clean floors, Titans (assuming that the Almighty who created them, the humans and those blasted walls had the same checklist of sins for the big guys that he did for the rest of humanity) and faulty 3D maneuver gear.

Oh, the thing worked perfectly fine when Levi was out slashing demons but as soon as he got home – though he hardly considered this horrifyingly dusty castle "home" – the 3DMG stiffened against his aching bones and sore skin. The buckles were digging into tender parts of his body and all he wanted was to tear it off and – _God forbid_ – throw it to the ground carelessly before drowning himself in the luxury of a warm bath.

Trying to calm down (taking out his irritated mood with the nice, clean floor was not going to do him any good), Levi pulled at the tangled belts at his left thigh. They were pulled fairly tight and usually they were a simple tug away from pulling off at the end of the day but, for the past week, his gear was giving him bother. At first, stubbornness stopped him from asking for new gear. He could fix this, it was hardly rocket science and he'd had this one for a while now. He had a strange attachment to the miniscule scratches on it and the constant shininess of the buckles that he made sure to wipe free from any kind of stain. Of course, Levi wasn't an idiot. Somewhere during the ridiculous hopping around to get out of the maze of leather, he had hollered for Hanji to find him a new 3DMG. He couldn't remember what happened after that but it was obviously not a successful mission. He was back to ridiculous hopping.

Grunting, he tugged again, only resulting in paining his flushed fingers even more. "Get _loose_, you good-for-nothing piece of _shitty_ equipment. I swear, the day I develop wings is the day I set _every_ scrap of metal I see on fire- _God damn it!_" He jerked his hand back to watch in horror as a single blossom of blood bloomed on the middle finger of his right hand.

Maybe he should give up and literally drown himself in the bathtub. However, not before a back massage. Although Hanji was too busy going starry-eyed over whatever Titan they had managed to contain and she had the unnerving habit of analysing any inch of nakedness with that oh-so innocent laughter in her eyes. And Eren was-

_A little shit_. The kid was practically begging for a foot to the face every time he opened his goddamn mouth. You'd think after so many times of eating dirt, he'd learn that every time he opened his mouth, he was only making more enemies- but _no_! He was either a masochist or a full blown idiot.

_God, I'm more tired than I thought_, Levi voiced in his head, as he scrubbed angrily at his stinging finger. _I need to word my thoughts better_. Jaeger could receive _all_ the punishment he liked, in the most _painful_ way possible, if it kept his mouth from running at the end of the day. And he was an idiot, full stop. Blown or not, the guy was a goddamn idiot.

"In the name of Wall Sina, I need to get this piece of shit off before I strangle myself with it," Levi growled and once again, he began his great war with the 3DMG. Had Lance Corporal Rivaille met his match?

"Corporal?"

The reaction was instant. Heel still propped up on the mattress of the bed and fingers trying furiously to break the buckle, he turned and snarled at the younger boy, who had entered the room with a towel around his lucky neck, with venom, "_What?_"

Eren blinked at the fierce glare, one hand running through what looked to Levi like newly dried hair (this only made his mood plummet further) and the other holding something white and folded in his hand, identical to what was around his tanned neck. "I thought you might want a towel- sir, are you okay?" It took the boy too long to acknowledge Levi's disbelieving glower matched with his odd, knee-up stance. _Definitely an idiot_.

Breathing slowly, Levi closed his eyes. "Kid, if you actually got anything through that thick skull of yours, then maybe I wouldn't want to hit you every time I see you. Put that stupid towel down and _help me_."

He had to admit, Eren may not listen properly but when he actually did, he was quick to move. Placing the towel on the bed, Eren moved towards the shorter man, hands outstretched in front of him in a nervous, submissive gesture. Levi stared down at his tanned hands, awkward and large, before looking up at the boy with impatience.

"The 3DMG. My left thigh. It's stuck and Hanji still hasn't got me a new one andall I want right now is peace, quiet and a warm bath. And not your face." Eren had gotten good at controlling his expressions when his superior insulted him. Levi could almost pretend he wasn't being an asshole and taking out his feelings on the kid. _Still…_ "So get down there and get me out of this thing. And quick." The sooner Levi was alone, the sooner he could be irritated with only himself.

That annoyingly familiar look of determination fixed on Jaeger's face, quickly masking another expression Levi was relieved to miss, as the boy hurriedly ducked to his knees in front of the Corporal. Situated between his legs, Eren took hold of Levi's lifted thigh to examine the problem. Of course, only the idiot would practically seize Levi's leg as he peered at the crossing straps and Levi could do nothing about the feel of those large hands on his thigh. He swallowed and stared down at Eren at work, focusing on Eren's face as a distraction from his body – both Jaeger's and his own.

Eren Jaeger was good looking, in the boyish kind of way that not many people would notice in the currently apocalyptic world. Oval face, pointed chin and button nose made him cute, if nothing else. But unfortunately, the kid was so annoying that no one would feel anything burning towards him – aside from the burning desire to kill him, of course, humans and Titans alike.

Still, Levi couldn't help but admire the smoothness of his tanned skin, rich and dark against his cold paleness, before it broke apart into a spectrum of already quickly fading bruises of purple, blue and pink. And the way his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as he pulled experimentally against the belts that were causing Levi trouble for so long. From this angle, his large eyes were just flecks of green in the shadows; an open book turned face down.

He supposed that was it – what turned Eren from a boy to a man. Not the large eyes that suited his cute features but the look _in_ them. He spoke too soon, he didn't think, he was impulsive and hell bent on his ideals, he was ridiculously passionate and honest and it wasn't _despite_ the pain that radiated in his eyes but _because_ of it.

Eren was very much alive after watching so much around him die. It was what made him bearable. And even beautiful, sometimes.

Dazed at the very stupidity of his own thoughts, Levi shook his head, surprising the younger boy at his feet, who lifted that pretty, bruised face of his to blink up at him innocently from the most sinful position he could find himself in. "Sir?"

_Not the most sinful_.

"Just get me out, Jaeger," Levi spoke through clenched teeth. Confused, Eren shrugged a little and looked back down to tag the crisscross of belts in his fingers.

And then he, suddenly, pulled. Hard.

Levi was ashamed to let out a surprised yelp before the pain registered and he could feel the bite of the belts through his pants. His propped up ankle slipped in the ordeal and Levi quickly grasped Eren's firm shoulders to stop from falling. His knee knocked into Eren's chest, leaning against it for balance. Eren looked up at the contact, golden-green eyes still confused without guilt. Levi's chest tightened at their closeness, a feeling he hadn't experienced for years.

And he wasn't going to start again now on some kid, that was for sure.

Closing his eyes, he counted to ten in his head. _Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit_-

Unsurprisingly, his patience snapped before he got to ten. "I said, take it off, _not amputate me from my thigh downwards!_"

Eren's face quickly became a mask of alarmed terror. Understandable seeing as Levi was trying his hardest to cover up the awkward stammering of his heart by screaming down at the boy.

"Th-they're stuck tight! What do you expect me to do?" _And finally the sheep opens his mouth_. Eren's skin flushed pink as he glared up stubbornly at Levi, hands still clutching the man's leg. He tugged experimentally on them and the determination was back. Levi felt more threatened by that single look than he had in a wall full of Titans. "Just let me-"

"No! _Ow_, shit! You _idiot_, you're going to-"

"Just stand still for a second and I can-"

"No, you stupid brat! Just – let – go!" Levi shook at his leg desperately but Eren clung on tighter, resorting Levi into hopping around on one leg, one hand digging into Eren's shoulder and the other trying (unsuccessfully) to swipe off the kid's head.

Eren almost dislocated his neck trying to avoid Levi's wrath, grinning as he continued struggling with the belts. It was almost as though he enjoyed the Corporal's pain. "I've nearly got it!" His smile, however, fell, when Levi screamed, both in pain and in rage. "Uh-oh."

Breathing heavily, Levi fixed him with the darkest glare he could muster, which was, consequently, pretty dark. "If you don't let go of me, I swear I'll personally escort you to the Military Police and-"

Levi didn't get the chance to finish his threat because Eren decided to tug at the 3DMG just _one_ more time.

There definitely wasn't a word strong enough to describe the idiot that was Eren Jaeger.

Somewhere, far off in the castle, Petra raised her head at the sound of a far off scream. But, thanks to the distance, she was unable to identify the blood curdling noise to be anything but a wild animal in the forest. In reality, it was Levi feeling as though someone had grated the skin on the back of his thigh with a half blunt blade.

The scream was short and angry, freezing both of them in their positions – Levi's mouth open, breathing heavy as his head rested low and his forearms leaned on Eren's shoulders and Eren with his hands still trapped under the belts on Levi's thigh, which was throbbing in a whipping pain. That was the ultimate downfall. Literally.

Levi could count to 100 in French, English and Titan if needs be and he still wouldn't be able to control the urge to choke Eren with the boy's own gear.

"You. Absolute. Fucking. Moron."

Slowly, with every word, Levi lifted his head and stared, without expression, into the golden gaze of the sweating, shaking mess that was Eren Jaeger. Their noses were almost touching, their rising and falling chests moving in to brush against each other's before falling back into something safe and right. It was irritating that, even if this murderous mood that Eren had caused, Levi still noticed the close proximity of the beautiful fool.

"Er… Corporal?"

Levi shook his head, chuckling darkly. "Not a word, kid. I'm annoyed, in pain and stuck in this prison of stupid equipment. It only makes sense to bring you with me."

"Er…" Eren gulped loudly as Levi kicked side one of Eren's legs so he could drop to his knees, as uncomfortably close to the younger boy as possible. It was sadistic but Levi didn't want to punish the boy by hitting him. _Not in that kinda way_. "Bring me with you where, sir?"

Levi didn't answer. Instead, he allowed the arms that rested on wide shoulders to come together by his hands at the back of Eren's neck, brushing against the sensitive skin there that was the confirmation he needed. Eren shivered and then did something so typically human that Levi was at loss for a moment.

He blushed.

_Jaeger is already reacting to me_, Levi thought, staring down the flushing boy with surprised eyes. Eren was biting down on his lip anxiously, hands stilled at the thighs of a man that he couldn't possibly feel anything but loathing for.

Levi had wanted to frustrate the boy and tease him – just to hide that even his own body was traitorous in reactions – but he never expected that the boy, himself, was already frustrated. Not that it mattered. He was shocked simply because, despite his horribleness, despite the bruises he caused and the breaks he triggered, despite the bullying, Eren did not hate him.

In fact, he liked him. Even a little.

_Or maybe more than a little_.

Eren Jaeger was still an idiot – more than ever, in fact – but this was the proof Levi needed that he wasn't a bad boy and certainly not a bad man. This was the white flag to stand down, even just for tonight.

Sighing, Levi fell back onto his heels. He shook his head and couldn't help but smile as he ran his fingers through his hair. "All I wanted was to get this stupid gear off so I could have a bath. That's all." He shook his head, refusing to meet the eyes of the boy that was leaning back on his palms in front of him. "Go to bed, kid. I can sleep in this thing."

Eren didn't move and Levi resisted the urge to snap at him_. Play nice. He has a puppy crush on you. Or whatever you call a servant's devotion for their master_.

Then a warm hand pressed gently against his left thigh, causing a grimace as a reminder to the pain that was inflicted on that area. Then Eren leant forward slightly and whispered, "You don't have to."

Eren's smile was so gentle, so brilliant, that Levi could only blink in amazement, the words not registering. Then Levi looked down as Eren's hand uncovered the belts that were nearly torn to strings. He could only look between his leg and Eren's nervous, sheepish smile with wide eyes. _When did that happen?_

The boy flushed again and began stammering as Levi snapped into action and began pulling the destroyed belts from legs. "I-It was the only way to get them out. And it would have been a lot more painless if you didn't move around so much. The leather is ridiculously sharp and it's probably bruised your skin-"

Levi shushed the boy and thrust his body at him without patience. "Get me out of the rest of it then."

Eren gaped up at him. "_What?_"

"Just do it!" Levi was shaking, his thoughts as fast as his racing heart. He wasn't thinking straight but he was so overjoyed by the freedom he didn't care. For once, Eren had done something right. Levi was barely biting back a grin that felt so foreign on his face.

Not one to disobey such direct orders, Eren set to work on his shoulders, back, stomach, unbuckling and unravelling with an urgency that made Levi wonder if he knew what was going to happen.

As the last strap fell to the ground, Levi couldn't find it in him to care that much about the dirt of the broken pieces of equipment and reached over the grab Eren by the jacket, finalising his thoughts on Jaeger.

He'd beat him. He'd kick his stupid ass whenever that mouth got them all into bother. He'll bruise that pretty face just to watch it go perfect again if he stepped out of line. But with every punishment, there were rewards. He would give Eren Jaeger what he deserved.

Hence why Levi pulled a shocked Eren to him and met that soft mouth with his own.

It didn't take long for Eren to recover from the shock and open his mouth slightly to accommodate another set of lips on him but Levi wasn't naïve. Eren kissed back with the same emotion he threw into everything he did – passion – but it didn't change the fact that he was innocent, in ways that Levi was not.

But it was so damn hard for Levi to feel guilty about taking away a boy's first kiss when he felt the shy touch of Eren's tongue on his, a beg that came out in heavy breath falls and low throaty moans as the younger boy's mouth open up and Levi allowed himself to enjoy the taste of another person after so long. He could almost forget that he was kissing an infuriating idiot, the Military's criminal and someone's experiment. There was nothing about kissing Eren Jaeger that felt like he was kissing a Titan, that's for sure.

Levi's hands found Eren's already unbuttoned shirt collar and dragged him closer still. Despite the height difference, the power shifted obviously to Levi, who cradled Eren's thighs within his own, as their mouths locked in kiss after kiss. Whilst Levi's tongue teased Eren's pouting lips, Eren fought back hungrily, his tongue searching for dominance, and Levi almost smiled. The boy was rash, even when he kissed. The Military Police were wrong; it seemed as though the only person Eren Jaeger was a danger to was himself.

Levi could feel the unashamed stammering of the heart under his fingertips as his hands roamed over Eren's torso, taking in his shoulders, chest, stomach, waist and hips. He had heard what the other trainees said about Eren. The boy couldn't keep his mouth shut (quite literally in this scenario) and a lot of soldiers accused him of being all talk, in the past. Of course, now that they were threatened by what Eren had the power of becoming, they simply said that Eren had undoubtedly delivered, in both human and titan form. From the stretch of skin over strong bones and the sculpted muscles under Levi's palms, it was clear that Eren had trained just as hard as anyone else, if not harder. Where he lacked the mentality or natural born talent, Eren was determined, even if you didn't count the strange gift he was given. And that determination showed. Levi suddenly felt as though seeing the idiot naked would be a pleasant experience.

_But, ironically enough, now is not the time to think of Eren naked_.

Still, it was so damn hard (again, in more ways than one) to break the kiss and call it a night. Levi wanted to continue kissing him, until Eren's lips were bruised deliciously, before he could move across every expanse of skin with his hands, with his _mouth_, and-

_Shit. Maybe this rewards thing wasn't one of my smartest ideas. Scratch the warm bath. Hanji needs to find me some ice_.

If Eren knew of Levi's inner turmoil, he was more of a tease than anyone could give him credit for. Finally, his hands unfolded from the small of Levi's back, where they rested almost nervously as they both kissed, and began their exploration of Levi's back, running up his spine with one finger before resting under the scarf around his neck. He hesitated, as if afraid of breaching some form of silent contract, but when Levi simply continued to kiss the corner of Eren's mouth, his cheek and his jaw, Eren grabbed onto the back of the shorter boy's neck and forced their lips back on each other.

_This wasn't supposed to happen. It was his reward, not yours_. It concerned Levi that the voice in his head sounded like Commander Irvin and it was definitely not something anyone wanted to hear in a situation like this.

Still, imaginary Irvin was right. This was wrong. He couldn't let Eren think that Levi was controllable after a few wet kisses, though that seemed accurate. But it would take a lot of physical and mental strength to break apart from this and, Levi, after dealing with the faulty gear from hell, was not in his usual mental zone-

"_Oh!_"

It was a knee-jerk reaction, which was considerably concerning. One of Eren's hands had slipped under Levi's shirt and found the bare skin at his waist, resulting in Levi's least composed exclamation and Eren a punch in the face.

Really. Levi had torn his face from Eren's to blindly crash his right fist into the cheek of the younger boy. Eren staggered a few feet back and almost fell flat on his backside but regained composure by tilting forward, hands on knees and eyes on the floor. It took him a minute – a heavy minute with Levi's arm still outstretched to where Eren's face once was and the sound of ragged breathing in the air – before he lifted his head, blinking dazedly.

"Sir… did you just- did you just punch me?" The astonishment was mirroring Levi's own, not that he'd tell him that.

"Yeah. Well." _Smooth Reveille. Smooth_. God, now his thoughts were starting to sound like Hanji. This situation couldn't get any more uncomfortable.

Clutching his face as his face scrunched up, Eren was clearly trying very hard to understand what just happened. It took the Corporal a considerably less amount of time to assess the damage. Getting used to kissing Eren and stopping was a rather simple thing that Levi had to learn to do, in comparison to learning how to _not_ punch the kid in his pretty face when Levi was surprised by his actions.

And now Eren's glare was back. "You _punched_ me!"

Folding his arms over his chest, Levi turned away stubbornly. "You weren't meant to touch me."

"Isn't that what people are meant to do when they kiss?" Eren huffed, as he probed at his face. There wasn't any blood, which made the situation a little less daunting. In fact, it was rather comical – _when you aren't the one getting punched, of course_.

Levi sighed, pulling at the scarf around his neck and tossing it on the bed. He turned towards Eren, who was moving his jaw oddly as if to test to see he hadn't broke it. Levi caught his attention by holding out a hand. "Come here."

"No way!" Eren backed up a few steps, holding his cheek protectively. He ducked his head but Levi caught the stain of colour on his cheeks.

_Typical teenage boy embarrassment. What have you gotten yourself into, Corporal?_

Now, his thoughts were sounding like every member of the Scouting Legion put together. Brilliant.

Ignoring any suspicious voices in his head, Levi moved towards Eren. "Shut up, Eren, and come here. Let me see your face-"

Eren responded simply by throwing up his arms and covering his face, whilst rapidly shaking his head. Levi felt his eye twitch in its familiar habit of irritation and, ignoring Eren's choruses of protest, he grabbed hold of the boy's forearms and used them to pull Eren close, once again. Before Eren could even say a word, Levi's hands became vices around the other boy's head as Levi pulled him down to his level and glowered right into his eyes.

Eren gulped and Levi spoke in the quiet tone that Eren found most deadly. "Listen and listen closely, Jaeger. I stand by what I said: discipline is in more than just words. If you actually listened and used your _brain_" – Eren winced when Levi rapped a fist on his forehead – "maybe you'd learn faster. But you don't. So I've made a better system. And it works my way. Understood?"

Eren blinked, green eyes wide with confusion, fear and, of course, thanks to the closeness, remains of unsure lust. He nodded when Levi raised an eyebrow expectedly and the Corporal continued on with what he was saying. "So when you're out of line, I discipline you." Levi thumbed Eren's chin before pulling him closer, until their mouths were barely brushing. Eren's breathing hitched. "And when you actually do something right, I'll reward you."

"You'll… _reward_ me?"

"Did I stutter, brat?" Levi spat impatiently and Eren pulled himself back to squint at the other man. Levi, once again, crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot irritably as Eren contemplated his answer.

"So… you'll kiss me if I do as you say?" It seemed as though Eren was simply a glutton for punishment.

"Yeah and I might even let you eat."

"But I eat any- wait, was that a _joke_?"

Levi didn't even think it was worth the muscle effort to punch him this time and simply turned on his heel and walked towards the abandoned gear on the floor, deciding that he would leave the proof of Eren's Titan strength in his human body to Hanji's excitable eyes. He disposed it to the corner of his room and spun around to yell at Eren about something – _anything_ – only to be surprised once again.

The kiss was soft and hopeful and maybe that's why Levi couldn't find it in him to hurt the kid. In fact, it felt so _nice_ that he refuse to feel guilty either. He simply closed his eyes and allowed their mouths to meet in a soft embrace before he forced himself to pull back.

"You didn't punch me?"

"Not yet, kid."

Eren smiled, brilliant and stupid. It almost hurt to look at him sometimes. Levi couldn't remember ever seeing anyone so hopeful in such a hopeless world. "Careful, Corporal," Eren teased. "People might start to think you're actually trying to be funny."

"And I'm starting to think you prefer punishments. Are you trying to fulfil some twisted fantasy here, Jaeger?" Levi raised an eyebrow and Eren's eyes widened at the accusation.

"_No!_ That's not- I don't- you- _no_-"

Levi simply shrugged and shouldered past the stammering boy, who had now turned an interesting shade of fever red, to grab the forgotten towel from his bed. "Whatever."

"_You hitting me doesn't turn me on!_"

"Well, that _is_ comforting."

Hanji was stood grinning at the doorway of the room, eyes fixed on Eren, who Levi was feeling rather sympathetic for, at this moment of time. It didn't look like she had seen any of their previous exchange, luckily, so Eren was swimming with the sharks alone.

_And speaking of water…_

Without saying a word, Eren threw the towel over his shoulder and began his exit. It took a while for Eren's voice to get through Hanji's speculations on Eren's Titan's pain receptors. "Wait! Corporal!"

Turning his head, Levi fixed Eren with a blank stare. "What?"

"Er…" He shuffled awkwardly on his feet. "Where are you going?"

"To have a bath. I'm fairly sure you know what one of those is." Eren opened his mouth to talk back but Levi beat him to it, moving his gaze to Hanji. "You'll need to find me a new 3DMG. Mine is… out of use." Hanji blinked at the pile of belts that Levi gestured to but didn't say anything. "But for now, I need some ice."

"_Ice?_ You want an ice bath?" Levi was wrong; Eren was hardly innocent because that would make Hanji a very excited child, though it did fit the idea. She honestly had no idea what was going on.

Levi simply shrugged and Hanji mirrored the movement in acceptance to his strange request before she stumbled out the door, in her usual rather dreamy manner. Levi paused for a moment but didn't look back at Eren before following Hanji's footsteps. When he got to the doorway and there were no sounds of footfalls from the boy, Levi called out, "Come on, Jaeger."

"Where?"

Sighing, Levi turned and answered, slowly so he wouldn't miss a word, "To. The. Baths. I. Need. A. Massage."

He was beginning to enjoy watching Eren's many types of blushing. This time, it seemed Eren was trying to hide it, which only resulted in the tips of his ears flooding red. It was rather amusing. "Wait, Sir, why-"

Levi turned and stepped out of the room in response.

Whether it was because he was processing the Corporal's words or the daunting task that was up ahead, Levi was halfway down the hallway before Eren tumbled out the door, calling after him. "But _why?_ Why can't Hanji do it?"

Levi just continued walking. "But that would be a waste of ice, wouldn't it?"

And he was sure that Eren _definitely_ knew what that ice was for.


End file.
